To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return. To Kak Min's family, I'm so sorry about it. Sorry for not being there with you. Insya-Allah, verily after each difficulties, there's a relief.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
complexities
karma and dogma co-conspire
o inspire the justification
for naive rejection
of the broad common logic
stated then stricken
from the courtroom records
like a perfect parable
this story must come
to an imperfect ending
the structure of instruction
catalyzed the demolition
of the freestanding supports
tremulous swaying backed by
torrential downpours
pour down the remnants
of a fractured calendar
months fall apart
leaving days to flutter down
yet an unended novel
questioning all it ever could be
finds an epilogue to justice
in justifying everything
while two imperfect persons
play unaware in a desert
5:36pm
Saturday, April 21, 2007
o inspire the justification
for naive rejection
of the broad common logic
stated then stricken
from the courtroom records
like a perfect parable
this story must come
to an imperfect ending
the structure of instruction
catalyzed the demolition
of the freestanding supports
tremulous swaying backed by
torrential downpours
pour down the remnants
of a fractured calendar
months fall apart
leaving days to flutter down
yet an unended novel
questioning all it ever could be
finds an epilogue to justice
in justifying everything
while two imperfect persons
play unaware in a desert
5:36pm
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
it was
For the novice it was
An impossibility
A trick of the mind
A headache for hours to come
For the expert it was
A piece of the puzzle
A hint at the possibilities
A beam of light into the shadows of my life
For me it was
A parting gift
A way of saying you were wrong
A hint to what you slip through your fingers
Revenge served over time
An impossibility
A trick of the mind
A headache for hours to come
For the expert it was
A piece of the puzzle
A hint at the possibilities
A beam of light into the shadows of my life
For me it was
A parting gift
A way of saying you were wrong
A hint to what you slip through your fingers
Revenge served over time
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Pelik
Saf tagged me. Instead of 6 weird things, I decided to change it to "6 things about me that makes me authentic". It is even more appropriated. Ahahaha. Whatever!
1. I hate uberhyped-overrated stuff. No offence to the whole world - but seriously, Friendster, Facebook, AF dan yang seketurunan dengannya dah macam 'lame' tahap petala ke-8. Take AF5 as an example (mati kena kutukkk OK), PITCHY tahap boleh masuk longkang! I'm not telling that my voice is better than them, but I know my weaknesses that's why I tak pergi audition OK..kekeke. With my limited experience and knowledge of musical skills, I can still judge dengan KONFIDEN how flat or sharp or instable or bervibrato hampagass their voices iteww. Aznil pun dah unmemorable sekarang. Takde umpphhh lah lawak kau sekarang!
2. Empathetic and hypocrite at the same time. I wanna help, but I don't wanna help. Add "ego" in the list. Serious sh*t sangat ego. Ahaha..No offence to anybody.
I don't feel sorry for being so ego and mean.
3. I can’t go to sleep if it is quiet. I have to have some kind of noise or light music because my ears ring. That said, once I go to sleep, I don’t want anything vocal going on when I wake up during the night. No singing, no talking. It will immediately piss me off, unless there is something wrong, ie Mona coming in to tell me she had a bad dream. Keji betulll Mona kacau tidur orang. Anyway, I keep my computers running 24 x 7 for the fan noise. Or, I put on a CD. I would put on a tape. That way, the cd, will finish by the time I wake up the first time. (I rarely sleep all through the night.) Quiet when I wake up is fine.
4. I refuse to throw things out. I have a 30" wide screen TV sitting in my dining room that is damaged. Been there since May 2006. There's a lot of damaged junks in the basement. Sangat kedekut OK. Maybe before I'm going back for good, I'll organize a garage sale. Mati tak cukup satu kontena nak angkut balikkk.
5. If Carly thinks she is superstitious, she should check me around NHL Playoffs time. The longer the Islanders go into the Playoffs, the more stuff I will have out. Hats, shirts, watches, all with the Islanders logo. And I have a lot of Islanders stuff. Plus, I will break out the hockey gloves and hockey stick. Also, I will wear one Islanders watch for home game days and one for away game days. Top that! Those guys wearing hockey jerseys...auwww! So hot! I bet everybody will fall for them.
Look, even the jersey is in pink:)
6. When I'm walking, I put out my hand and drag it along whatever I'm walking next to -- the wall, fences, file cabinets, etc. At work, with lots of file cabinets everywhere, I'm sure it's annoying to people as I plonk-plonk-plonk past their offices. Sorry, can't help it. You can just wear the ear plugs.
So, I'm tagging you! Maira, Yas, Datuk G for Gediks, bakal datin Yaya:p, and everyone who reads my blog. Ala, macam lah I nak check satu2 sape yang ikut rules kan. Bongokkk! Peeps, I miss you!
Anya Hindmarch's new collection. Should I go to Harrods to buy this bag NOW? This fashionable shopping bag will be launched in U.S. on June. Seriously sangat tak sabar!!!
1. I hate uberhyped-overrated stuff. No offence to the whole world - but seriously, Friendster, Facebook, AF dan yang seketurunan dengannya dah macam 'lame' tahap petala ke-8. Take AF5 as an example (mati kena kutukkk OK), PITCHY tahap boleh masuk longkang! I'm not telling that my voice is better than them, but I know my weaknesses that's why I tak pergi audition OK..kekeke. With my limited experience and knowledge of musical skills, I can still judge dengan KONFIDEN how flat or sharp or instable or bervibrato hampagass their voices iteww. Aznil pun dah unmemorable sekarang. Takde umpphhh lah lawak kau sekarang!
2. Empathetic and hypocrite at the same time. I wanna help, but I don't wanna help. Add "ego" in the list. Serious sh*t sangat ego. Ahaha..No offence to anybody.
I don't feel sorry for being so ego and mean.3. I can’t go to sleep if it is quiet. I have to have some kind of noise or light music because my ears ring. That said, once I go to sleep, I don’t want anything vocal going on when I wake up during the night. No singing, no talking. It will immediately piss me off, unless there is something wrong, ie Mona coming in to tell me she had a bad dream. Keji betulll Mona kacau tidur orang. Anyway, I keep my computers running 24 x 7 for the fan noise. Or, I put on a CD. I would put on a tape. That way, the cd, will finish by the time I wake up the first time. (I rarely sleep all through the night.) Quiet when I wake up is fine.
4. I refuse to throw things out. I have a 30" wide screen TV sitting in my dining room that is damaged. Been there since May 2006. There's a lot of damaged junks in the basement. Sangat kedekut OK. Maybe before I'm going back for good, I'll organize a garage sale. Mati tak cukup satu kontena nak angkut balikkk.
5. If Carly thinks she is superstitious, she should check me around NHL Playoffs time. The longer the Islanders go into the Playoffs, the more stuff I will have out. Hats, shirts, watches, all with the Islanders logo. And I have a lot of Islanders stuff. Plus, I will break out the hockey gloves and hockey stick. Also, I will wear one Islanders watch for home game days and one for away game days. Top that! Those guys wearing hockey jerseys...auwww! So hot! I bet everybody will fall for them.
Look, even the jersey is in pink:)6. When I'm walking, I put out my hand and drag it along whatever I'm walking next to -- the wall, fences, file cabinets, etc. At work, with lots of file cabinets everywhere, I'm sure it's annoying to people as I plonk-plonk-plonk past their offices. Sorry, can't help it. You can just wear the ear plugs.
So, I'm tagging you! Maira, Yas, Datuk G for Gediks, bakal datin Yaya:p, and everyone who reads my blog. Ala, macam lah I nak check satu2 sape yang ikut rules kan. Bongokkk! Peeps, I miss you!
Anya Hindmarch's new collection. Should I go to Harrods to buy this bag NOW? This fashionable shopping bag will be launched in U.S. on June. Seriously sangat tak sabar!!!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
it bites
It bites
Sitting here wondering
What the word Lolo really meant
Meant something to me
Something sold to me
But still meant something
What did it mean to you
Your people
The same you taught me
Or the one you shame
And it bites
Sitting here wondering
Which moments were real
The looks and the words
Which ones of them true
And I have no clue
They all become lies
And it bites
Hearing a dog bark
And thinking of my Buddy
Or writing these words
On the computer
And it bites
Doubting the people I care about
Who genuinely care for me
Driving by one of our many places
Either fulfilled
Or still living on the good times list
And it bites
That I’m lying awake still wondering
When I hate like I never have
Hurt like I never dreamed
Idiotically missing the feeling
The excitement
The love
It bites!
The dreams
The passion
Then remembering it’s all a lie
The end has passed
But still it bites
It totally fucking bites
And yeah - fuck you
You don’t deserve my words
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Past is past
The damage is done. Full stop. Come to think of it, I'm not really respecting others' lives. I've been hiding my identity from the moment A told me about the spread of my pictures on the internet. In the forum precisely. Aaa tak kisah..nak tengok tengok lah..People love to see beautifool things. It's just that, apart from looking at the pics, they tend to generalize their impression by looking at them. So what if I join them clubbing? So what if I act like a drunk woman? After all, I'm just a normal person, nothing extraordinary nor ordinary. Life is short, I just wanna treasure it till the moment I die. Waahh melancholic sangat! Tak tahan oookkk?
If 'you' ever happen to read my blog, sorry for being so busybody whatever. Like jaga tepi kain orang. Funny thing is we do not know each others kan. I might have met you before, but that doesn't mean I can be a so fucking newsmonger? Kinda like penyibukkk. Ya ampun, I'm so sorry. After this, I will try to avoid you. Euww, I'm sucksss!
Long story cut short, congratulations to my beloved alma mater for the launching of the new school in Putrajaya. Ape kes sekolah tu dah lama buka baru nak launch. Well, sorry jugak for the absence during our MMA. Glad to see all of you are doing fine there. Though I saw a lot of swimming faces. Insya-Allah I'll be back for this coming Wind Orchestra Competition on June 23. Really hope to see Cikgu Fauziah again. Tadaa peeps, I miss you ><
If 'you' ever happen to read my blog, sorry for being so busybody whatever. Like jaga tepi kain orang. Funny thing is we do not know each others kan. I might have met you before, but that doesn't mean I can be a so fucking newsmonger? Kinda like penyibukkk. Ya ampun, I'm so sorry. After this, I will try to avoid you. Euww, I'm sucksss!
Long story cut short, congratulations to my beloved alma mater for the launching of the new school in Putrajaya. Ape kes sekolah tu dah lama buka baru nak launch. Well, sorry jugak for the absence during our MMA. Glad to see all of you are doing fine there. Though I saw a lot of swimming faces. Insya-Allah I'll be back for this coming Wind Orchestra Competition on June 23. Really hope to see Cikgu Fauziah again. Tadaa peeps, I miss you ><
Saturday, April 14, 2007
I'm not a whore!
Where is the manner when you suddenly snapped someone's heart by calling her a whore? HELLO!!! I do smoke, but I'm not a heavy smoker. I do like attending a concert, but I don't drink. I know what's at stake in doing things unacceptable in Islam. You calling me a whore is just as bad as me smoking the marijuana. Or even worse. Have you ever heard a saying that says: Menfitnah itu lebih kejam dari membunuh. I'm not a pious one, but I still respect other people's life. Let me just live my own life OK?!
So I told my fiance about it. He just burst out laughing. He couldn't even understand me whenever I swear in Malay. Gosh! I need a friend to accompany me right now. To soothe my anger. To cool down the world revolving in here. Arghhh! Where are you now Saf when I need you?
So I told my fiance about it. He just burst out laughing. He couldn't even understand me whenever I swear in Malay. Gosh! I need a friend to accompany me right now. To soothe my anger. To cool down the world revolving in here. Arghhh! Where are you now Saf when I need you?
Friday, April 13, 2007
This is a life
Life is really unfair to me nowadays. My supervisor still hasn't approve my topic of interest to continue my research. I still didn't get the grant. My thesis is left hanging for two months right now. Life is so unfair right? Sometimes, I can't fathom my decision to further my study. I mean, I have a nice life back in Malaysia, if I just stay at home doing nothing, I will still have a nice life. Call it living a luxurious or posh life or whatever, doing nothing at all isn't just my thing. Please God, let me finish this stupid thing in time. Or I'm gonna be crazy!!!
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